“Oh, but you’re not a real Southerner,” she exclaimed with a wave of her hand and a laugh. “Your ancestors came from CHINA!” I had just bumped into a woman outside the pizza shop who knew my sister. She loved hearing about my cooking classes and tours connecting food and culture which highlight the best of East, West and the Deep South. Noticing my puzzled look, she explained, “I’m a true Southerner. My family goes back six generations!” She pointed out further about a Chinese American friend in Georgia who “thinks of herself as Chinese, NOT Southern.”
Well, I’ll be darned.
The encounter was brief but left me wondering ever since, who counts as a real Southerner? True, my parents are immigrants. They arrived
in the 1960’s on graduate school scholarships, first living in Texas then Georgia. My father recalled segregated bathrooms. We shopped at the local Winn-Dixie grocery and Mom made us Hot Hunan Catfish caught fresh from the lake.
We’re a land of immigrants. Alexander Hamilton’s parents were not born in the U.S. but Hamilton is clearly considered to be an American. There are families of Spanish and Mexican descent who have lived in Texas for over 400 years. Would my sister’s friend have considered them real Texans?
How many generations do you need to qualify as a true Southerner? One, two…five? What about New Yorkers? There are overlapping national and regional identities. Does belonging to a region like the South mean something unique or have different “requirements?” Cultural habits and sensibilities are deeply rooted across generations. As traditionally “hyphenated” groups e.g. Asian-Americans, Latino-Americans, can we choose to define ourselves how we like or only unhyphenated groups have a right to claim a regional identity?
As a little kid, I thought it was only about being Chinese. That’s what I was teased about so that’s how I defined myself–foreign, different, un-American. In actuality, as a native Georgian, I’m not only American, but “more Southern” than most people in Atlanta!
Finding the right balance and accepting the positive and negative aspects of my heritage –Asian, American, and Southern–in addition to multiple privileged layers–honorary White, middle class, educated, able-bodied and straight–was and continues to be an evolving struggle, but an essential, required journey. One that our country and all Americans, especially those who identify with the Deep South, are experiencing, too.
Theater Bans Movie Gone with the Wind
Stone Mountain Park Confederate Carving Debate
Authenticity: The Joy of Being Yourself (Interview with Natalie) PeachDish Magazine
There will be more questions than easy answers or simple solutions. Regardless of where you were born or how long you’ve been here, friendly greetings like “Ni Hao, Y’All!” are a start.
Coming soon, from Dear Diary:
- Our Southern Heritage – Confronting the Good, Bad & Ugly
- Food Revolution: Potlucks for Peace!
Beautifully written, Natalie! As an American who has spent about 40% of my life outside of my country, I’ve often felt like an alien, although I probably ‘pass’ as American to most. Having lived overseas so much, I had the privilege of perspective that many don’t have and am very thankful. Yes, it makes me critical of my own country and it’s leaders. I’ve been told that my criticism is unpatriotic! However, I truly love my country and feel that it can only get better by seeing it’s flaws and fighting for what I believe. Nowadays, I embrace whatever cultural overlap I can find and when there isn’t overlap, I consider it an opportunity to inject a little bit of an ‘outsider’s’ perspective.
Oh so good to hear from you Suzette! It’s sad and frustrating that people and efforts aiming higher, wanting a stronger democracy gets twisted into being “unpatriotic.” Effective marketing but obviously off mark. Miss y’all
This is part of a bigger question, “Who counts as a real American?”. The logical argument is either we ALL do or none of us except “Indians” do. But racism at it’s heart is not rational. The problem is that those who are operating out of ignorance don’t realize it or care. The fact that you look “different” is what she really meant but was too nice to say. Or too dumb to realize. As a Jew, I forget that I am the target of racism too but I don’t feel it very often as I don’t look Jewish. I can assimilate. But White Supremacists still hate me and threaten us. So, who is a real American? Lately, honestly, I’m not sure I want to be part of such a horrible group of people.
Agreed and good insights on anti-Semitism, commonalities and key differences across groups. My other essays (written but not posted) lead into being American. Thanks a lot for sharing.
Good questions. I was born in China but moved to the south in 1953. I love so many things about the south – the people, the food, the Sunday church meals on the grounds, the love of growing things. I sometimes feel more southern than some people who were born here.
Great article Natalie! When we adopted our daughter Aimee Jade from China and brought her back as a 6 month old to live in Atlanta, I immediately started referring to her as a Chinese American Southern Belle! It why I loved your business so much the first time we met. If you send me your email I will send you an essay Aimee wrote about her journey of self discovery wondering about unknown relatives she left behind in China while looking nothing like her American family.
But as you say we are a nation of immigrants. It’s what I love most about our country. Similarly the South is full of people who may have started somewhere else but have learned to love our region. You grew up in Smyrna, GA!!! You love your country, region and state and you and your family are contributing to the wonderful cultural melange that we enjoy in Atlanta.
Thank you for joyfully and proudly sharing your beautiful blend of East meets West and your wonderful and delicious family cuisine.
So glad your parents adopted the Southern United States as their second home and so proud to call you an American Southern sister!
Thank you so much for the sweet note. I’d love to read Aimee Jade’s essay. Would it be ok if I shared it? Either way is totally fine, just wanted to check first.
You are a true southerner.
You were born and raised in Georgia.
I knew Leigh when we were kids.
Your Mom was my third grade teacher at Belmont Hills.
Thank you for your support. It’s been quite a week, month, year.